Splash of the Blue Juice-How My Portable Toilet Won

I told this story to my family and realized I'd never written it down here. This is a lesson learned about van/RV life and the challenge of portable toilets.

My van came with a portable toilet. Meaning I can carry it out of the van and empty it in an RV dump station.

Let me tell you that if no one shows you how to empty one and you just go do it its gross and embarrassing depending on if you have an audience or not haha. Not easy to figure out the first time. I finally had to go to YouTube and find someone to show me...

I've emptied the convenient little thing a few times by the time this story takes place. So I'm thinking I've got it handled.

I'm in Flagstaff visiting a friend, who's in the van with me at this point. I'm at a busy gas station with a free RV dump station and am parked near it and ready to go for it.

Most of you RV'ers know that most stations have a heavy metal lid that you prop open to allow access to the pipe. I had the toilet all prepped (taken apart and the nozzle moved and the "lid" unscrewed.) so I'm struggling a little to get the heavy metal lid to stay open, I've managed to empty most of the toilet but am sloshing the "blue juice" around a bit (not great). And finally at one point I'm leaned over the whole operation and the heavy metal lid slams down and splashes the blue juice (and all its contents, uh hem) directly up into my face and hands etc.

I of course, drop the toilet gently on the ground and try my hardest not to scream out because I'm not sure what's on my mouth or not. My friend in the van sees whats going on and is trying really hard not to throw up and also laugh at me at the same time. I'm freaking out because I can't open the door to get the wipes and soap and clean clothes and matches. She's still trying to control the puking while I'm signalling to get me something to clean up with.

Once I get myself mildly cleaned up I realize there is a line of RV's and vans nearby me, all have seen the splash of the blue juice, all are in stitches. I look at the nearest guy and he gives me a look like "did you seriously just do that? Amateur".
I grabbed my toilet, cleaned up all I could (it didn't take the brunt of the splash) and drove away as quickly as possible.

Needless to say, you should never misjudge heavy metal!